Faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to.”
~ Sapphire Jule King
For the past two weeks since receiving God’s directive to move to Newport with no income, no savings, no job offers, and no guarantees, God has been asking me to write and publish an essay on my many experiences following His take-a-leap-of-faith guidance. I have shared bits and pieces of these stories with my closest friends, but I procrastinated on sharing them publicly. I’m not really sure why.
I couldn’t deny the importance of His request when I read my friend Monica Coleman’s Facebook postings of:
“God favors HIS PLAN. Whenever ANYBODY lines up with God’s purpose and plan for his/her life, favor will instantly be upon that person’s life… See Galatians 2:6 and Proverbs 12:1-2.” and “God allowed you to wake up this morning because there is someone who needs to be blessed by you. Fulfill your destiny.”
I especially couldn’t deny His request any longer after reading another dear friend Dr. Gregg Thomas’s decrees of, “God is looking for those who stand up and say to the world, ‘God has been good to me’”, “What are you modeling before others?”, and “Give God all the glory for everything.”
I am so sleepy right now and so tired, but God is not allowing me to slip into blissful sleep without first completing this directive. So, for all of you who don’t know my story and may receive some benefit from hearing it, here goes.
Rebirth in the City of Phoenix: Pray and Leave it
Ten years ago my life was stuck in a stationary tornado. Repressed secrets, deep depression, and alcoholism locked me into a solitary location, ripping all possibilities of happiness to shreds with no way viable way out. At the end of my rope during the Summer of 2000, I contemplated suicide for the third time. I knew I couldn’t go through with it because I had promised God. But He had also promised me. He vowed that I wouldn’t have to live like that if I just believed in Him. If I just prayed to Him and left those requests with him—believing that He heard me and would answer them—all the upheaval would dissipate. So, I gave it one last shot. However, this time I prayed for Him to help me pray and leave it, pray and believe it. One month later, I received a job offer and was moving to Phoenix. I had 54¢ in the bank, huge credit card debt, no car, and bad credit because of the prior hospital stays. My company provided me with free housing and a car for 30 days and credit approval to buy a new car once I explained the reason for my credit history. God provided for my needs without me having to suffer.
Freedom Quest in Barcelona: Just Open Up and Follow Your Heart
Five years later, in 2005, I found myself in a beautiful home all alone with my biweekly engineering paycheck. I had achieved the success that society said would bring me happiness, but I was miserable. Having gotten sober and grown more spiritual aware, I carried out a four-day vision quest. Ending on July 4th, I rightly named it my Freedom Quest: “As the Declaration of Independence states, I am casting out the old ‘government’ which no longer ensures my ‘safety’ and am pursuing a new way of future security.”
During my quest, I asked God to show me how to end my unfulfilled engineering career and begin a life dedicated to creativity and healing. I requested help to change my socially-isolated lifestyle into one of my dreams filled with travel, fun, and a family of my own. One month later, God told me to resign. I had a mortgage, car payment, and household bills with no savings and no other job options. Nonetheless, I followed His directive. During the termination process, I found out that I had just become fully vested on the day that I tendered my resignation. Thus, I cashed in my 401(k) and pension and couple of months later sold my home at the height of the Phoenix housing boom. I had plenty of money in the bank. God provided for my needs without me having to suffer.
God took me one step further. He instructed me to give away 95% of my material possessions to charity, and board a plane to Europe with only a backpack and a notebook full of spiritual messages as my travel guide. I eventually landed in Barcelona, Spain where its energy and wonderful people served as an anchor that allowed me to finally let go of all pretense, relax, breathe, and be the whole truth of who I am. A place that said, “No matter what happens, you are safe here. Just open up and follow your heart.”
You Can Go Home Again: A Walk in Forgiveness
Phoenix was the home of my spiritual rebirth. Barcelona was the home of my deepest spiritual healing and training to follow God’s guidance to the letter. But my heart didn’t have a home. As my savings dwindled over the two-year adventure, I constantly asked God what I should do. He told me to stay. When I had but one month’s rent in the bank, I asked God what I should do. He said, “Pay your rent.” I did and found myself in a foreign country that felt like home with 100€ in the bank and no income to pay the next month’s rent on my flat. A friend generously offered to let me stay in her flat for a month while she was on vacation. Another friend told me to pack all my things and moved me into his home for as long as I needed to stay. I had completely forgotten about my rental deposit which was enough to buy a ticket back to the States. I had nowhere else to go but home to my family, home to my mom, home to a place I swore I would never return to when I left with just 54¢ to my name 8 years prior.
And I needed to return. Armed with a clearer understanding of my truth and a super strong connection with God, I finally reconnected with my family on a level I never thought possible. I came face to face with the sources of my fears and embarrassments and discovered that they no longer controlled me. I controlled them. Forgiveness was the key—no longer needing others to “pay” for hurting or disappointing me because I could see their actions through my God-eyes. That was the secret. This understanding led to the founding of my nonprofit dedicated to building strong families. It also led to a rooted, balanced, and healthy desire to re-establish of life of my own in a city that called to me without being driven by feelings of unhappiness, resentment, or needing to runaway to find peace. This time, peace is motivating me to walk into the next higher level of peace.
Hello, Can You Hear Me?
I woke up at 4am two weeks ago with God telling me to take a huge leap of faith and just move. “But to where?” I asked. “You know where—Newport.” Again, I have no money because I followed God when He instructed me to invest everything I had into the nonprofit’s Walk a Week in Your Shoes campaign Celebrating Strong Families. I have no job, no money, no housing, no guarantees, and no worries. I know it’s time. I have the same feeling of peace, stillness, and surety that I had when I resigned from Motorola with a mortgage, car, and bills, but no income. God immediately made the way AFTER I took the leap. Also, in Barcelona when I followed Him to my last dime but landed in a beautiful home with a gracious friend in the hills of Barcelona! So, I feel confident to trust the voice of God and do it again.
And God is providing for my needs without me having to suffer. A few days later, He lowered the airfare so I could purchase my ticket to my new home with the little resources I had left. Although I do not see it now, I know I will have a home and income by my departure date of October 27.
In closing, God wants me to tell you:
While you are asking, “Hello? God? Are you listening to me?”, He is saying, “Hello, can you hear me?”
Listen and repeat what He says. Listen and respond. Listen and repeat. Nothing else is required. Allow Him to do the heavy lifting. Allow Him to figure out the details. Simply listen and repeat. Listen and respond. Listen and follow.
–Pray and leave it.
–Pray and believe it.
–Just open up and follow your heart.
–Walk in forgiveness.
I want to thank God for always providing me with everything I need from family and friends to spirit and real-life guardian angels.
Copyright © 2010 Sapphire Jule King and International Freedom Coalition