Self-Love is Content

Self-love does not envy. Self-love is content. The Greek word used for envy is zēloō which means “to strive after” or “to be heated or to boil with envy, hatred, anger.” From a psychology perspective, envy is a reaction to a sense of lacking a possession, trait, or experience – particularly that someone else enjoys.

Two pictures arise from these definitions.

The first is we find ourselves in a dry season, in lean times. We may be unemployed or living paycheck to paycheck. Maybe single when we desire to be married. Perhaps married but unable to conceive when we really desire to start a family. Even married with challenges in the relationship. At times may be we find ourselves living with a parent, family member, friend, or in a shelter when we desire our own home. Then we witness a friend get that new job. A coworker buys that new house. That one cousin sends us a wedding invitation. Babies and pregnant women are everywhere we go. Something inside us goes from bad to worse because they have what we so feverishly want and can’t seem to get.

The second is the opposite. We have the job with the title and the salary that other people wish they could have. We married that special person. We’ve been in the perfect home for years with our spouse, three kids, and the dog. Then our single friend announces she is quitting her job to take a trip around the world, free of attachments, responsibilities, mortgage, car payment, soccer practice, and ballet lessons. Something inside us goes from “wow, I finally have the life I dreamed of” to “oh no, what has my life become? I want that not this. She’s so lucky.”

In both instances, our desires are being driven by the state of our external circumstances and a sense that the grass will be greener on the other side. We mistakenly believe there will be more peace, more joy, more fulfillment, more love in the other situation.

Being content no matter the circumstance does not mean settling. Contentment means regardless of whether times are tight or overflowing with abundance, we find peace in knowing that God is providing for our NEEDS. No good thing we will lack. He has not forgotten about us.

We fill our deepest need for love by leaning into God’s unconditional love for us. We rest in knowing that we don’t have to earn God’s love, perform for it, strive for it, or buy our way into it. He loves and accepts us just as we are. We make our relationship with Jesus our source of joy knowing that He will be our strength in our time of weakness. He is a friend, a brother, a spouse that will never leave us. We look to the Holy Spirit as our true source of peace.

Only God can fully satisfy our deepest, innate need for love, acceptance, peace, and safety.

1 Corinthians 13:4(c); Philippians 4:11-13
Minister Sapphire Jule King
#SelfLoveMinistry
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